dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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