My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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