whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
