u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My vagina is officially offended.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
