He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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