I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
