true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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