one might say we're banned from that church
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
