And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
