I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
