I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
