Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
