Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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