ugly people sure do ruin things
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
