I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize