god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
