Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
