I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
