I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
