The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just want to make out with him forever
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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