the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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