Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
this beer tastes like vomit already
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
