Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
