Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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