Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
