i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize