Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
