what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
