It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
