U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
