his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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