the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
