did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
