Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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