i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
