I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
