Don't make out with my wife yet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
