So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The best revenge is premature balding
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
