I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
