I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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