i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
