sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
