i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The air taste purple.
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