I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize