And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize