Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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