I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
