First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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