Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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