gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize