I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
