I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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