as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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