He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
