I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
