They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
