i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
