playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
