i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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