Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
