Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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