My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
