I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
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