thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We had to coat check the pizza.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
