I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
