Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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