Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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