just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
