I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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