strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
