my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
