Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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