if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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